Share This Episode

What Is Your Avatar with Ridgely Goldsborough

In this episode, we are talking to a good friend of mine, Ridgely Goldsborough. He's one of my favorite people in the world.

In this particular episode, we talk about writing books and how he's been able to crank out over fifteen different books. If you ever thought you wanted to write a book, I want you to pay extra close attention.

In addition, we talk about fine wine and great places to eat, mix it up a little bit. We talk about something that I don't think it's talked about, which is how to recognize what wealth avatar you are, how you make money in the world or how you can make money in the world being you. Just because you listened to all these shows and you subscribe to WealthFit, read articles about how to create wealth, some of the strategies probably aren't good for you. What I mean by that is different strategies for different people at different times.

If that sounds intriguing to you or weird to you, I want you to pay extra close attention to this show. Ridgely and I go to work on how you determine what wealth avatar you are, what's your superpower for creating wealth in the world, and how do you balance all the different strategies.

If you don't know Ridgely and are getting to know him, he's appeared all over TV, every major network, ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox and more. He speaks all around the world with CEOs and entrepreneurial groups. He speaks in Spanish, he speaks English and he speaks a lot of different languages. He's a true genius. He's humble. He's a sophisticated guy although he makes fun of himself, which I find all the greats do.

If you're looking for a show to be entertained, you're looking to getting the real-world value that you can take and immediately use for yourself and discover who you are, then you're going to enjoy this.

Dustin
I'm with my good friend, Ridgely Goldsborough. This guy is a machine. He is amazing. You take complex subjects and you have this gift to simplify them, re-communicate them and put into everyday language. I believe that to be your gift. Do you see that is your gift?
Ridgely
I had no choice, Dustin. When I was a young boy, I had a rough childhood. I had a stepfather who was aggressive. He used to get drunk a little bit too often and whenever he did, he'd beat up on me and my brothers. I would walk through the door of the house and have about eleven seconds to figure out, “Are you drunk?Yes or no? Are you angry? If so, at who?What do I need to do to protect myself and my brothers?” I figured out really quick how to make sense out of stuff.
Dustin
How do you think that's shaped your look in life and then how you do business?
Ridgely
The thing is I have a knack for seeing something that's coming. In other words, looking at a problem, looking at a challenge, looking at a big issue or situation and saying, “How do we break this down? How do we simplify this? How do we clarify this? How do we take it into component parts and figure out a way that helps others come up with solutions that work?”It literally comes back from having to avoid the belt of my stepfather putting welts on my back. It made it fundamentally part of my being to have to do that that it then I carried it forward. Now, I'm super blessed. I’ve written sixteen books helping people make sense out of things. I don't think I can turn it off even if I want to.
Dustin
How do you write many books?Is it because you have this gift and you love to simplify? Do you think that's the trick for you?
Ridgely
It goes back to the same exact situation. When I was young, I had no outlet from the fear, from the pain and from the anger created by my stepfather. As a result, I turned to writing. It was my escape. I wrote poetry. I wrote stories. I wrote short stories. I’ve been doing it for so long that when I'm not doing it, when I take a break for a little while, it starts to build up again inside like, “I need to be writing something. I don't feel right. This is weird. What am I supposed to do, slack all day? I don't know.”As a result, about every eighteen months or so,I come out with another book. 
Dustin
It’s your stance that we all have a gift inside of us, essentially an avatar. It’s what you write about, you are the Avatar Formula guy. Do you believe that we all have a certain gift and it's our goal in life to figure out what that is and tap into it?
Ridgely
Without a doubt. I believe that when you know yourself well, you can figure out,“What is my superpower?”
Dustin
How do I know myself well? Do I have to wait until I'm 40?Can I figure it out in my twenties?Give us some insight here.
Ridgely
When you're a child, a tiny infant and you want milk, what do you do?
Dustin
I cry.
Ridgely
What happens when you cry?
Dustin
Someone comes running usually.
Ridgely
Suddenly, there's an association that forms that says crying equals success. You wake up in the middle of the night, you're in your crib, it's dark and you're lonely and scared. What do you do?
Dustin
I cry again.
Ridgely
What happens?
Dustin
If I cry long enough, someone’s coming.
Ridgely
Suddenly the association gets stronger. Crying equals success. Success at this point is akin to survival. To the infant, milk equals life. No milk equals death. Comfort from someone when I'm scared equals life. No comfort equals death. On a fundamental level, success is a feeling. From that point forward, every time you needed or wanted anything as an infant, what did you do?
Dustin
I cried.
Ridgely
Until one day, parents or caretakers come along and say, “Dustin, sorry. This crying thing cannot play forever. You can't keep doing this and expecting to get what you want.”Suddenly, you're faced with a dilemma. You still have needs and wants. Crying isn't working anymore. You have to try something different. You take a different action and all sudden, you get what you need or what you want.A tiny filament of belief is formed at that moment. You need something else and you try something else, and it doesn't work. Throw that one away. Try something else, doesn't work. Throw that one away. Let me go back to that first action again. Now it works again. Suddenly, a second little tiny filament of belief begins to wrap around the first one.
A single filament of belief is not going to hold up a whole heck of a lot, but imagine thousands and thousands of little filaments, wire filaments all are wrapped around each other. What would that hold up? Anything, and in this case, it's your belief system and it is not going to change in this incarnation. Therefore, the ability to tap into that belief system, to understand what is your avatar based on your belief system means you then in turn can figure out, “What am I great at? What am I never going to be that good at? What should I be doing more of? How can I bring this gift that is me, my superpower, to the world and use that for positive and for service to others?”
Dustin
What’s your stance on trying to improve your weaknesses? Do you double down on your strengths and forget the weaknesses? Do you try to bring up certain weaknesses?
Ridgely
If it's a fundamental thing that one needs to know, then sure you have to work it out. Dennis Rodman didn't shoot three-pointers. Tom Brady doesn't tackle people well, he's not supposed to. In other words, you want to double down on your strengths. You can delegate things. That's why there's this thing called teams, so you can get the right people in the right seat, rowing the boat in the same direction at the same time. You don't need to be great at everything. In fact, you only need to be great at one thing.
I remember a story about the world's greatest garbage man. When I saw that, I was like, “The world's greatest garbage man. What does he clean up?” He was the guy that was capping the oil wells that Iraq set on fire that were in perpetual fire mode. $1 million a well is what he got paid. You can be good at anything. If you're good at whatever and you can bring that gift to the world, somebody else can do the rest. For instance, I can do numbers. However, my partner is better at numbers than I am. Why would I do them? I don't.
Dustin
I want to apply this to the WealthFit Nation. We talk a lot of things wealth creation here. You've taken this concept of avatars and wrapped it around wealth. Can you give us a little insight into the avatars that exist?
Ridgely
Before we go there, let me tell you why this is critical. Here's the thing about money and wealth. It follows fundamental rules. If you do A, B, C, D and E, you have money. If you don't, you never will, end of story. What that means is that it is never about the money. It is only ever about your relationship with the money. Can you stay in the right relationship with money? Can you do A, B, C, D and E? Do you understand not money, yourself, well-enough to know what you need to do to maintain that right relationship with money and continue to manifest and accumulate it? To get to your question, I'm going to break down the seven avatars.
Dustin
Something popped into my head and it's this conversation. I remember growing up and I'm saying, “How can that person have money?That's a drug dealer over there and he's not adding value to the world, from the way that I would think of value. He’s adding value to his clients’ lives.”What do you say to somebody that is nefarious or somebody that you're like, “How is that person being able to generate money? Is it because they understand this principle and they're not letting certain things get in the way?” How do you explain that?
Ridgely
Money is neutral. Money can be applied for either good or bad. The accumulation of it, the creation of it is still following basic fundamentals. Not to be funny but to go to your example, there are good drug dealers and there are bad drug dealers. The bad drug dealers start doing their own drugs, get more and more missed up and then eventually can't do squat. The good drug dealers are the ones that never do any of their own drugs. They act as conduits for distribution. They understand the laws of distribution, they figure out how to work. The fundamentals of distribution, whether it's drugs or the next thing that's going to change the world, are still fundamentals of distribution. If someone is good at the fundamentals of distribution, it doesn't matter what they distribute, they are still able to make money.
Dustin
We’re rolling into the seven avatars because I'm sure everyone is hanging on their edge trying to figure out,“Which one am I?”
Ridgely
I'm going to run through them all quickly and then we'll break them down. Number one, the giver, the person that loves to make an impact, a difference, to touch people in some way. They love to contribute. Number two, the connector, is the person for whom bonds and relationships are everything. They're all about connecting. Number three, the problem solver, that's me, the guy that loves to make sense out of things, to simplify, to clarify things, to break it down. Number four, the innovator, the person that is constantly improving things, they always love to tweak. They want to make anything better. That's what they do. Number five, the perfectionist, the person who knows that there's a right way to do things and things should be done right. They love systems, processes, procedures, SOPs and they are constantly trying to figure out how we do A, B, C and D. 
Number six is the rebel, the person who is always going to challenge anything, go against the norm against convention, live outside the box or the squares, they say down under. Number seven, the master, is the person that loves to go deeper. They want to know more. They want to take it to the next level. Think of a cell phone, for instance, an iPhone. You think of an iPhone, all I needed to know is which button I push to talk to somebody. The master is going to want to know how does the voice transcoder do something, send it through the Wi-Fi, goes traveling through the air, it lands on the other side of the Earth. It comes down, it gets reprocessed again and your voice shows up in Nairobi. That's the master. Those are the seven different avatars. The question most people want to know is,“Who amI? How do I figure that out?”
Dustin
What about multiple? What if I feel like I'm multiple, some of those resonated with me too?
Ridgely
What's happening is you're going to have a primary avatar, a default setting. You're going to have a secondary avatar, which isa lot of what you're going to manifest on a daily basis through the eyes of your primary. For example, I am a problem solver first, primary and a giver, second. Ido want to change the world, but I don't want to change the world altruistically. I want to change the world by solving problems because that's what I know. That's my strength. That's what I play to. 
I have a lot of elements of the giver in me, but I'm not the guy who's going to altruistically jump into a project and start giving. I'm going to look at a project. I'm going to stop. I'm going to figure out where I make the best possible impact through my skills in solving problems. You recognize many, but I'm going to tell you everybody has a primary avatar, which is what they're going to go back to, default back to all the time. Almost automatically, you can put on the cape or the superpower of any of the avatars at any time but you're going to default back to who you are.
Dustin
Let's get into,“How do I figure it out?” Maybe I have a hunch on which I am but I want that certainty. How do I figure it out?
Ridgely
I’ll go into a little bit more detail on each one. I would encourage our audience, grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down which one you think might be you and then we'll go through a process that I can take. If I'm standing in front of a room and I’ve got 300 people in a room, I can walk people through this process. We can do this with your audience. We're going to break it down. Avatar number one is the giver. The giver is the person who loves to serve others. They love to contribute, to make a difference and to have an impact. They're great at behind the scenes and they're also great at giving in a big way. You think of someone like Mother Teresa. How fantastic would it be to know who the givers are on your team or in your family? For them, giving is easy.
Number two is the connector. The connector values trust above all other things. Trust is everything to the connector. They want to create trust. They want to prove that they're trustworthy. They're going to do anything to keep their bonds close, deepening. They care about that relationship. Number three is the problem solver. The problem solver is the person who cannot stop their mind from looking at situations and making sense out of them. I can't turn it off even if I wanted to. I can listen to people. I can empathetically listen, but by the time they’re two-thirds of the way through whatever they're telling me, I already have a solution for them because I can't stop myself. I may keep my mouth shut, but my brain is not stopping. They make sense out of things. They clarify, they simplify and they break things down. That's what the problem solver does.
Number four is the innovator. The innovator is the person that's always asking the question, “What if?What if this? What if that? What about this? What about this thing? How do I?”They're looking to improve anything. They want to make things better. That's the innovator. Number five is the perfectionist. The perfectionist wants to find a system. They know that there's a right way to do things. Things should be done right. If you first do A then B then C, D is predictable. They hate chaos and love order. The perfectionist is that person. Their closet is never messy at home. They couldn't live there.
Number six is the rebel. The rebel is the person who lives outside the box and challenges the status quo. You say, “Why?” They say,“Why not?” They're going to live and see things in unique and different ways no matter what. Lastly, is the master. The master loves to study. They love to grasp knowledge. They love learning for the sheer joy of learning. They want to know more things and take it to another level, to go deeper. For all the people in our audience, those are the giver, the connector, the problem solver, the innovator, the perfectionist, the rebel and the master. Maybe you think, “I’ve got it. I'm either this or this.” Most people can narrow it down to one, two, maybe three. I say, “Let's talk about superpowers.”
What are the superpowers? You might recognize yourself better if you know the superpowers. The giver’s superpower is causes. They're always involved with the cause. Big causes, little causes, contributing causes, making a difference through causes, they want to contribute in some way. The connector’s superpower is trust. It's all about trust. Being trustworthy, building trust, that's what they do. The problem solver’s superpower is solutions. They make sense out of things. They come up with solutions.
Number four, the innovator, is improvements. They're always looking to find a better way and to create improvements on anything, from reorganizing a garage to a new process of running a manufacturing plant. It doesn't matter. Number five, the perfectionist, is systems. They want a system because systems are predictable. You know where you're going. You could look into the future if you have a great system. Number six, the rebel’s superpower is challenge. They challenge everything no matter what. They're going to see it differently, look at it differently and approach it differently. Lastly, the master’s superpower is depth. They're going to take things to another level. They're going to go deeper. They’re going to want to know more.
Based on those, the giver is causes, the connector is trust, the problem solver is solutions, the innovator is improvement, the perfectionist is systems, the rebel is challenge and the master is depth. Those are the superpowers. See which one of those resonates with you, and see if you can narrow down from your choices to where we are about now. What often helps people more to identify their avatar is the Kryptonite. The Kryptonites are generally the exact opposite of the superpower. It's the counterpoint, Yin-Yang thing. The giver, whose superpower is causes, theirKryptonite is over-commitment. They have a hard time saying that no word. It hardly ever comes out because they want to contribute. They want to contribute to a cause. Over-commitment, they're the type of people that are way overloaded because they say yes way too often.
Number two, the connector’s superpower is trust. Their Kryptonite is waste. They are determined to prove that they’re trustworthy, that they'll do the extra, then the extra to demonstrate that. The truth is the first extra takes you from ordinary to extraordinary. Everybody can aspire to be that. All the other extras, they make you nice, “That person’s so nice. They’re so great.” They don't accomplish the objective of proving trustworthiness, so it doesn’t help.
Number three is the problem solver. Dustin, have you ever had somebody that you're talking to them and they suddenly get the dumb look? You can see that they're breathing, they have not died but they are no longer present. Even though they're looking at you, their eyes are glazed over. That is paralysis. That is the Kryptonite of the problem solver. When the problem solver doesn't have enough information or data, they freeze. They go like, “I don't see it. Shutting down, mechanism failing.”The innovator, change for change's sake. They want to make everything better. Their superpower is improvements, so they'll want to change anything because they can see a way to make something better. However, a lot of times, change is not so good. What if a system is working? What if a team dynamic is working well enough? What if it's GAAP, generally accepted accounting principles, and you bring an innovator into your finance team. That's a real problem.
The perfectionist’s superpower is systems, their Kryptonite is rigidity. They can be very stiff because they want a system. Things need to be run by systems. The creativity gets thrown out the window and they end up taking way too many monkeys on their back because they want a process for everything. The rebel’s superpower is challenging things. They challenge everything. As a result, they isolate. Their Kryptonite is isolation. If every time someone's talking to you or you’re talking to someone and they’re a rebel, they challenge you on everything. After a while, you're like, “Go back to your side of the building. You're bugging me.”
Finally, the master’s superpower is depth. Their Kryptonite is complexity. Have you ever been talking to someone and you want to say to them, “I need to ask you a question, but can you give me the short version?” That may be a master being way too complicated because they want to go deeper and they don't understand that the rest of the world maybe doesn't. I'll run through those really quick. The giver’s superpower is causes, their Kryptonite is over-commitment. The connector’s superpower is trust, theirKryptonite is waste. The problem solver’s superpower is solutions, their Kryptonite is paralysis. The innovator’s superpower is improvements, their Kryptonite is change for change’s sake. The perfectionist’s superpower is systems, theirKryptonite is rigidity. The rebel’s superpower is challenge, theirKryptonite is isolation. The master’s superpower is depth, their Kryptonite is complexity.
Dustin
Writing sixteen different books, having mastery of the subject and to be able to do that is fascinating. Going through that process was helpful because I wrote down three. I wrote down connector, giver, and master. Originally, I was thinking master because I love to learn. However, I don't go down to that level. By the Kryptonite in there,I'm not going to know how the phone works and all that. I do like to collect information and process that. That helped me to eliminate. I believe, based on what you shared with me, I am a connector-giver because I do love trust. I love building relationships with people to a fault, I know that. That's super beneficial to know, “I don't need to try so hard after the second and third time. They're already impressed.”
Ridgely
It's important to communicate that to people, especially as a connector, trust is everything to you. If somebody violates your trust, that's a sucker punch in the stomach. Your team needs to know that so that when they make a commitment to you, they come through on it. My wife is a connector also, and there's no way I'm going to tell her I'm going to do something if I don't do it. The bar is raised. Somebody tells me they're going to do something as a problem solver, if they don't do it then I’m like, “That was pretty lame. What a bozo,”but I'm over it, into the woods. It doesn't affect me in a way that it does a connector because trust is important to them.
Think about that with yourself. You’re the person when it comes to money, you want to know the numbers because numbers don't lie. How important is that for a connector? You're the guy who wants to know the numbers. You're not all that interested in taking a big flyer and dropping my $5,000 into something that might be the next bitcoin, whatever. Show me the numbers because that's who I am. If I'm a financial advisor and I know you're a connector, then I'm going to show you the detailed plan. I'm going to talk about how reliable it is. How you can trust this plan? How you can connect with this plan? How dependable these investments have been so far? There's a whole language that I can use that is going to speak to the essence of who you are based on your avatar.
Dustin
It's easy for me to want to go to the giver and ask you for an example, but I want to make sure we cover the spectrum here. Let's talk about the master when it comes to wealth creation. If I'm a financial planner and I'm trying to communicate with somebody that's a master, what do I do in that respect?
Ridgely
First thing is you better know your stuff because masters are very smart. They know more about most things than anybody else does. That's what they do. It's who they are. They absorb knowledge, information and data. It's what they love to do. People do what they love to do. Number one, the financial advisor had better know what they're talking about. In other words, be not,“I'm going to paint by the numbers and put somebody in a box.”A master's going to need a financial advisor who is super sharp. They're going to need someone who can talk in depth about the investments while simultaneously not allowing complexity to sneak in.
As George Soros said, “Making money is boring. It's doing a lot of the things that work over and over and over and not making it complicated,”so the challenge with the master is they're going to want to complicate things. You'd have to know what you're talking about, be able to get into the depth of what the proposed investment might be and not allow that master to complicate the plan itself. Making money is repetitive,"Do this, do this, do this.”I can tell you how to wake up every single day, for the rest of your life, wealthier than yesterday.
Dustin
How's that?
Ridgely
Pay off all your short-term debt and then pay yourself first. Every time you get a paycheck, you pay yourself first. You take 10% off the top and you put it into an investment account or savings account. If things get invested, it begins to compound. If you have no personal debt, then you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you go, “I'm wealthier today than I was yesterday,” because that money is building.“I’m wealthier today than I was yesterday,” and you can do it forever.
Dustin
Ridgely, I want to ask you what may be an obvious question. If I want to create wealth, if I look at a Soros, if I look at aWarren Buffet, are there only certain avatars that can create wealth? Is the giver screwed essentially because they’re going to give all their money away? They'll never be wealthy. Can I be at the highest level? Can I create wealth for myself if I'm a certain avatar?
Ridgely
The answer is 100%, it’s just that you're going to do it differently. For instance, because we know that the giver’s tendency is to say yes to everything, then the giver, in working with a financial advisor, needs to plant in their brain that when anybody comes to them with an investment, with a new idea that they want to say yes to because they want to say yes to everything. The line is, “Let me run that by my advisor.”They have to know themselves well enough to say, “If it's up to me, I'm going to giveaway the shirt on my back. It can't be up to me. Anything related to money has to go through my advisor.”There's a buffer and the advisor knows, the advisor says, “So and so is a giver. I need to protect them a little bit.” If you don't, you end up giving too much away.
Dustin
I remember when I first got into the business. As a connector, I love connecting people. I connect away and I wouldn't make any money. My partner at the time, he instituted this and he's like, “You're not allowed to do deals or do anything. You tell them they need to talk to me or you have to talk to me.”He helped me with that because I naturally wanted to give.
Ridgely
That's understanding the,“Physician, know thyself,” thing. You want to know who you are and how you perceive the world, because how you perceive the world is how you're going to deal with money.
Dustin
You talk about the Laws of Receiving, the Laws of Giving. Can you shed some light on the four different laws that you believe that folks need to know in order to make progress with their wealth creation or in life?
Ridgely
This is a big topic. First of all, the Four Laws of Prosperity. The first one is receiving. Let me say something a little bit controversial. You know that saying,“It's better to give than receive.”Says who?According to what?If someone is giving, is not someone automatically receiving? Is the giver automatically better than the receiver at that moment? It's ridiculous. There can't be a giving unless there's a receiving. I understand the sentiment behind, “It's better to give than receive.” It's better to be generous than miserly or whatever. In the act of giving, someone is receiving. One of the problems is people block that. They've heard,“It's better to give than receive. Money is the root of all evil.”
They've heard these stories that were generally told to them by people who don't understand money or they wouldn't say that because money is neutral. It can be positive or negative. It can go for positive causes, negative causes, it doesn't matter. One of the first things that we have to do is understand that giving and receiving are both good and we have to open ourselves up to receiving. If you shut yourself down to receiving, you're not going to receive. You're going to find a way to sabotage yourself. You're going to find a way to block that flow to you. Sometimes it's affirmations, a lot of times though it's digging deep. Money doesn't grow on trees. What is money made out of? Paper. Where does paper come from?Trees. Interesting. There are many little sayings that we've planted in our brain and accepted as real, as opposed to saying, “That's interesting, that thing about money and trees. I never thought about it that way. Maybe I ought to reexamine my relationship with receiving. Maybe receiving is good too. Maybe I need to open myself up to that. Where do I have a block? What does that look like?” Otherwise, you're going to have a hard time receiving. Think about the very first thing that every human being does with respect to money is what?
Dustin
There are two things going through my head, they either spend it or they put it somewhere. They save it.
Ridgely
The first relationship with money that almost every human being has is receiving. Somebody's giving it to. It's your parents, your grandparents, your uncle or somebody. Somebody’s giving you money. The first thing anybody ever does is receive and then we start blocking that flow. You receive energy in the form of money. What are you going to do? You're going to take some of your energy and put it to work in the marketplace. In other words, it's constantly a flow. The first thing is the flow comes to you. You receive the energy in the form of money. The second law is the Law of Earning. You're going to take your energy. You're going to put it to work in the marketplace. The marketplace is going to reward you with energy in the form of money.
We've got to law number two, which you have to receive, law number one. Now we're moving to law number three. Now that you've received the money that you earned from putting your energy to work in the marketplace, you have todo something with it. Spending, law number three, the Law of Spending. There are smart ways to spend and there are dumb ways to spend. Since we've known each other a long time, I feel I can go there and be a little bit controversial. Let's talk about the way that rich people, the middle class and poor people, how they spend. Rich people buy assets, things that pay you. The middle class buys liabilities, things that cost you. I go, “It's the end of the month. It's been a rough month. I’ve worked hard. I need some retail therapy.” I go to the department store and I buy myself a new suit, a new dress, or a new purse because I deserve it. I plopped down my credit card and I acquired something that costs me becauseI'm going to be paying interest on the thing that I acquired. Poor people buy junk.
Have you ever walked into somebody's house and you see in their dining room there's a shelf? On that shelf, there's an Eiffel Tower, a little horsey, a teacup, some things that are immediately, absolutely worthless the moment you buy them? You spend that $10 on that Eiffel Tower, walk out of that trinket store and that Eiffel Tower is worth nothing, squat. Rich people buy assets, things that pay you. Middle-class buys liabilities, things that cost you. Poor people buy junk. Where do you want to be? You want to be hanging out in that, “When I'm spending, Law of Spending, law number three, I'm buying assets, things that pay me.” For instance, when you take that money, you pay yourself first. When I take my energy, what is investing, which is law number four? The Law of Investing and Accumulating, all I'm doing is taking my energy in the form of money and putting my energy to work in someone else's enterprise. When I buy a stock in Apple, I'm taking my money, my energy, putting it to work in Apple, and Apple is then going to pay me in the form of dividends or increased valuation. At least that's the theory, that's the idea and I'm then accumulating assets that pay me.
I’ve got to receive. I receive the energy. I take some of my own energy and put it to work in the marketplace. That's called earning. The marketplace rewards me, I have to receive that. I then have to take the money that I received, the energy that I’ve received and spend it, law number three. I'm going to be a part of this constant flow and with whatever is left over,I'm going to invest that. In other words, take my energy, put it to work in someone else's enterprise, thereby completing the cycle. The flow of money is astounding. All you have to do is figure out who you are, how do you maintain the right relationship with that money, and divert a tiny little bit of that flow to you in order to accumulate wealth.
Dustin
Ridgely, later in life, this has come to me. I'm a young buck, as they say. I used to think about how can I keep it all and not let it go. I had a lot of fear in the past around that. Until recently,I’ve embraced that. How do you define this? How can you explain this? What I’ve noticed, as of recently, is when I do invest and when I do put it back out there, it comes to me. It may come from a different angle or it's weird like someone pings me and says, “Do you want to do this deal? I got an idea, maybe I should sell this thing on eBay,” and people bid on it to my surprise. How do you define this esoteric flow of energy and more importantly, how do I put it to work for me?
Ridgely
Let's use you as an example. You said, “When I was young, I used to try to figure out how I hold onto all of it.” That's a trust issue because you're a connector. You are that guy that wants to create that safe haven. You want to create that safe space. You want to make sure that you and your loved ones are protected and taken care of. The connector is not the person who's going to make a lot of risky investments. It's not what they do. How do you stay in the flow? I honestly believe that without getting way esoteric, it is largely a matter of gaining the understanding of how it all works and making sure that your mind space is clean.
What you focus on, you manifest. It's crazy but if I were to say to you, “Dustin, what I want you to do for the next month is spend five minutes a day focusing on getting cancer.” Would you do it? You wouldn't because it might show up. What if instead you spent five minutes focusing on, “What do I need to change within myself to become wealthy?” and then taking those actions on a daily basis? When we understand the flow and we understand that it is nothing more than energy flowing back and forth all over the place, we're going to figure out a way to keep open to that, stay in tune and pay attention. Suddenly, an opportunity opens up or suddenly you make a slight shift in the way you do things that in turn has a bigger impact. For instance, this idea of paying yourself first. I’ve been doing it for along time. Here's what happened to me. I had forgotten how much money I had in a 401(k) that I continued to contribute to automatically. Literally, the money is taken out of my account every month. For some reason, I was like, “Let me check that for a second.” I had $50,000 more than I thought I had. That's a significant amount of money. $50,000 I had that was more than I thought because it had been on automatic. I didn't feel it at all. 
For those people say, “I am so stretched,” and forgetting the scarcity mindset, the people say, “I spend 100% of what I earn.” I say to them, “Let me ask you a question. Imagine that until today, you've made 100% of what you've earned. If you had only made 90% of what you've earned until this moment in time, would you have perished?” You could have saved 10%. End of story. People can make that adjustment no matter what. You can survive on 90% of what you're making and take that 10% and pay yourself first. Who's more important, your credit cards or you? Why are you paying the credit cards first?
Dustin
That's a controversial thing to say. When you don't even ask yourself the question or when one blocks that, when you don't ask that question, nothing is possible. You immediately shut it down. When you say, “How could I save 10%?”not that you want to give up Starbucks every day, I get it, it's tough. If you never ask yourself, you never open yourself up, then things won't occur. That underscores what you're sharing.
Ridgely
At the end of the day, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. We have to get real with ourselves if you care about wealth. If you don't care about money, I'm not suggesting that money can buy happiness but I am going to tell you it makes of a down payment.
Dustin
What is the most worthwhile investment you've made in life?
Ridgely
Myself, 100%. That's not a specific investment. It is the investment that I’ve made by spending significant amounts of money on personal growth, professional growth and personal development on an ongoing basis because I'm clear that the biggest asset that I have is me and my own skill set. I belong to masterminds. I'm constantly traveling to learn from people. I joined another mastermind, which is not an insignificant or inexpensive mastermind, it’s just a big ticket. I'm clear that if I can continue to pour money into the one thing that produces energy that goes out into the marketplace, then the marketplace is going to reward me. The biggest investment, smartest investment is definitely me.
Dustin
I'm going to give you a sideline question. Besides yourself, do you have any favorite investment vehicles? Oil and gas? Are you a crypto guy? Outside of yourself.
Ridgely
Not to deviate, if I want meat, I'd like to talk to the butcher. If I'm looking for bread, I want to go to the baker. I don't have to have a favorite investment. I have to know who I need to talk to properly invest my money that does that for a living that is an expert. I don't do the investing myself. I literally go to professionals and I say, “We have this chunk of money. Where should we put it?” At the moment, I happened to have been playing with bonds recently, but only because we have a bond trader. I have a bond trader who hasn't lost money on a trade in two years. I don't understand bonds. I don't even know what they are. I don't even know what he's doing. I do know what they are but I couldn't explain it, but he knows how to invest in bonds. Therefore, I love bonds but I don't love bonds without him. If I didn't have him, I didn't like bonds.
Dustin
You've created a system that works for you and you love it. You happily enjoy the returns.
Ridgely
When I deviate from that, which I have done and periodically do and somebody says, “Even my financial advisor says we ought to try this. I feel good about this.” I end up being angry later because it was not great and I put $25,000 on this thing and it lost it all. As opposed to following the boring system of putting the money where you know it’s going to grow and you wake up wealthier every day. You look at yourself in the mirror and say, “You're looking good, a little richer than yesterday.”
Dustin
What's the investment you'd rather not talk about?
Ridgely
Back in the early days of domain names and URLs, I got in early and started buying some domain names and stuff. Suddenly, .la came up and I was living in LA, .ca is Canada, .uk is the United Kingdom and .la is Laos, as in Laos next to Cambodia. My partner and I sank $450,000 into buying every .la that amazing, Cars.la. Restaurants.la, Movies.la, Hotels.la, we bought them all and then the Laos government changed.
Dustin
Did you lose them all?
Ridgely
All of them. It was the worst day of my business life. The United States government is not going to step in to help a private investor deal with the fact that the Laos government changed.
Dustin
That day you get the notice. You're a problem solver. Do you immediately go into problem-solving mode and like, “How are we going to fix this?” Are you like, “I lost it all.” Did you give up?
Ridgely
It wasn't a matter of giving up. We tried a few things and we tried to investigate what could we do? How can we salvage this? What options do we have? At the end of the day, we basically came to the conclusion that regardless, the United States government is not going to step into a fight with the Laos government to protect a financial speculator. It’s not happening. It took a few months before finally saying, “I'm glad that I continued to invest in myself so that when dumb things like this happen, I can somehow survive, get up the next day and keep on going.”
Dustin
What's your guilty pleasure? We talk a lot about investments and investing in you. I find that people have a guilty pleasure.
Ridgely
I definitely do. Mine is, without question, wine and fine dining. I'm a foodie. I love it. My mom was a chef. She had a restaurant when I was a kid that I worked in and learned all about food. My mom would make esoteric and exotic food all through the winter when it wasn't tourist season and I got exposed to a lot of that. I love fine wine and going out for a dining experience, next to intimacy with my wife is probably about my favorite thing in the world to do.
Dustin
Best kept secret in the United States dining experience. You could even throw wine into there. What is your best-kept secret or underrated place of dining?
Ridgely
One of my favorite things to do is to find other foodies and ask them where their favorite place in each location is. I can tell you what restaurants to go to in Pensacola where I live. I can tell you what my favorite one in San Francisco is. I can tell you what my favorite one is in LA, whatever, but I can't possibly stay on top of all that. My problem-solving brain says, I'm in San Diego, “Dustin, what's your favorite restaurant here?”
Dustin
I totally was going to ask you San Diego, but I felt that was maybe a little selfish because our audience is worldwide. I thought maybe the US. For me, my favorite place has been a nondescript. I take my family there, so it's more about the experience. It's this place called Spice and it's right around the corner. Although,I’ve been dying to try this sushi restaurant called Sushi Ota, which is famous. A bunch of people, before I moved here, have told me to go there. That's next on the list.
Ridgely
My favorite wine tip, the best value, especially for new wine people is Spanish Cava, which is basically Spanish sparkling wine. They're good. You can get a nice Cava for $8, $9 a bottle. Pop open a bottle of Cava with a friend, awesome.
Dustin
Where can people find out more about what you're up to, your travels around the world, what you've got cooking?
Ridgely
If you like the ideas of the avatar, go check out WealthKryptonite.com. There's a little three-part video series there talking about avatars and you'd enjoy that. Pick up a copy of the book.
Dustin
I highly recommend it. I just started going through it. I love the avatar. You can identify with it. It's unique. It's different. It gets you in the wealth conversation, maybe if you find yourself on the sideline. Ridgely, thank you big time for being on the show.
Ridgely
Thanks so much for having me, Dustin. It’s been an absolute pleasure.

RELATED TRAINING

 in 

MONEY

article
The Most Effective Tax Strategies To Reduce Taxable Income

Learn how to use tax strategies to keep more of the money you earn. Learn how to use both personal and business tax deductions.

The Most Effective Tax Strategies To Reduce Taxable Income

Alyssa Grossbard

Read Now
podcast
Getting Money For Your Business

If you run a business, you need to be aware of business credit. This credit score affects more than you might think.

Getting Money For Your Business

podcast
Making Money Simple: Getting Your Financial House In Order

CIO of Plancorp, Peter Lazaroff shares the right way to manage your finances so that you can make better financial and life decisions.

Making Money Simple: Getting Your Financial House In Order

podcast
Financial Adulting, Stashing Cash & The Matrix

Discover how to get out of debt using the Debt Snowball method and other ways to manage your finances like a responsible adult.

Financial Adulting, Stashing Cash & The Matrix

Financial Adulting

Financial Adulting

The 20-Something's Guide to Debt, Investing, and a Wealthy Life

Ellen & Micah Long

Watch Now
article
How To Improve Your Credit Score In 30 Days

Want to improve your credit score fast? Learn 3 different strategies to improve your credit score in 30 days or less.

How To Improve Your Credit Score In 30 Days

Michelle Black

Read Now
The Early Retirement Blueprint

The Early Retirement Blueprint

How To Build Wealth Faster & Accelerate Your Retirement Timeline

Tom Wheelwright

Watch Now
Pay Less Taxes

Pay Less Taxes

How To Legally Reduce Your Taxes By Up To 40%

Tom Wheelwright

Watch Now
Money 101 for Teens

Money 101 for Teens

The Ultimate Guide To Making, Spending, Saving, and Investing Money

JP Servideo

Watch Now
podcast
Tax-Free Wealth

Rich Dad Advisor and wealth education innovator Tom Wheelwright on reducing your taxes by 10%-40% & how to deal with financial advisors.

Tax-Free Wealth

podcast
Retire Early, Retire Happy

It’s good to retire early—but it's also important to retire HAPPY. Learn how to retire early and happy with Wes Moss.

Retire Early, Retire Happy

Intro to Credit

Intro to Credit

How to Get Started, Boost Your Score, & Leverage Credit to Build Wealth

JP Servideo

Watch Now
Wealth-Building 101

Wealth-Building 101

How to Get Out of Debt, Boost Your Active Income, and Start Investing for Passive Income

Andy Proper

Watch Now
podcast
Stealth Wealth

Have you heard about the FI movement? Jonathan Mendonsa on how budgeting and smart investing can lead you to financial independence.

Stealth Wealth

podcast
Cutting the Cable

What’s the cable cutting movement all about? Cable Cutting Academy's Jeremy Edmonds discusses tech and finance hacks to save you money.

Cutting the Cable

article
How to Write A Goodwill Letter That WORKS [Templates Included]

Is a late payment hurting your credit score? There's good news: you write a goodwill letter and ask the creditor to take it off your credit history.

How to Write A Goodwill Letter That WORKS [Templates Included]

Lance Cothern

Read Now
article
Pay Off Your Mortgage With a Credit Card: When Does It Make Sense?

Paying the mortgage with a credit card is becoming a more popular strategy. But is it a good strategy?

Pay Off Your Mortgage With a Credit Card: When Does It Make Sense?

Justin McCormick

Read Now
podcast
How To Negotiate a Higher Salary

Want to boost your salary? Rich Jones and Marcus Garrett help you determine your financial worth. Negotiate for the life you deserve.

How To Negotiate a Higher Salary

article
How to Buy Car Insurance & Get The Best Deal

If you don’t know what your car insurance plan covers—now’s the time to find out. You’ll be surprised by how much you can save.

How to Buy Car Insurance & Get The Best Deal

Nathan Wade

Read Now
article
Cut the Cable (Bill) - 10 Alternatives to Cable Television

Cutting your cable bill is an easy way to save tons of money. If you have home internet you already have access to on demand entertainment.

Cut the Cable (Bill) - 10 Alternatives to Cable Television

Lance Cothern

Read Now
article
The Ultimate Guide to Packing Your Lunch: Lose Weight & Save Thousands!

Packing your lunch is an easy way to save thousands a year. Learn how to start packing your lunch and stick with it.

The Ultimate Guide to Packing Your Lunch: Lose Weight & Save Thousands!

Jill Huettich

Read Now
article
Budgets for the Service Industry: How to Budget When You Work for Tips

Learn how to budget when you work for tips. How to take control of your finances in the service industry.

Budgets for the Service Industry: How to Budget When You Work for Tips

Jill Huettich

Read Now
Freeing Your 401(k)

Freeing Your 401(k)

How to Route Your Retirement Funds into Passive Investments

Andy Tanner

Watch Now
The Hidden Power of Life Insurance

The Hidden Power of Life Insurance

How to Protect Your Ass(ets), Save Smarter, and Start Putting Your Money to Work

Stuart Arakelian

Watch Now